Robbing Peter to Pay Paul…say what?

With my husband’s permission, I’m going to begin blogging about finances and our journey in discovering and redefining how we use money in our life.  I grew up in a household where my parents tried to get us ‘everything’ we wanted.  My dad (my uncle who raised me) worked very hard and has an entrepreneur’s heart.  My mom (my aunt who raised me) used most of her time to chauffeur us to our school concerts, music lessons, sports, and church events.  This is one of the ways she showed her love.  My dad, the way he showed his love was by providing for us.  He worked often and tried to provide the financial resources so that we could have all the material things, sports activities, and musical lessons we could ever want.  However, probably what we really wanted from him was his time (but that’s a whole ‘nother blog entry).  Despite it all, I know they gave the best that they knew how to give and I appreciate them for it.

In their giving, our parents often gave us many things that they truly didn’t have the money to afford but they’d shift or do what ol’ folks say ‘rob Peter to pay Paul’ (to borrow against money from something or someone else in order to give to something or someone else the money that is owed.) Their intentions were good but it sometimes got us into tight/unnecessary situations that as children we were totally oblivious.  At the same time, I grew to know who bill collectors were and what to do when they called….don’t pick up!  LOL…but yes, I know it’s really not a laughing matter but I LOL because I know I’m not the only one out there who knows/knew about that at one point in their life.  (Holla if you hear me!!!)

So as I have become a parent, I’ve noticed that some of what I learned as a child unconsciously begins to repeat itself in my parenting habits.  I really do like to give my boys everything, well just about everything that they want.  After all, I say to myself, they really are good boys.  They are very well-behaved (and I’m not just saying that because I’m their mom…I’m actually saying that because we’ve had other kids at our house…and Lord, have mercy!!!)

Just as many of you may have been affected by the economic crunch and tightening up your wallet, we are no different.  Circumstances have pushed us in the past month to speak with a financial professional to get guidance.  Things were feeling tight and we wanted some help.  I felt that we were at a deficit in our budget every month instead of a surplus.  When we met with the financial planner, she disagreed with me based on the budget that we presented.  She felt we were at a $500+ surplus every month instead of a deficit.  I knew she didn’t know what she was talking about because I couldn’t account for this surplus she kept mentioning.  So to prove her wrong, I took this challenge.  She asked me to pull my bank statements and really look at the numbers.  Since I’m an organizer, I decided to do one better.  Because we use our debit cards for everything, I decided to pull into a spreadsheet every transaction that hit our account for the month of August.  I tallied each category and at the end of my tallying I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY with what we spent on two categories:  Eating Out & Groceries ($1200 for the month of August for a family of 4….say what?!?!) .  I couldn’t believe it but the numbers don’t lie.  I saw it with my very own eyes.  Two adults with two debit cards to one account.  $15 here at McDonalds, $5 here at Jerry’s Pizza, $6 at Qdoba, $4 at Starbucks, $3 at 7-Eleven, $145 at Shopper’s Food Warehouse, $125 at Sam’s Club, need I go on!!!  There are so many factors that go into the HOW DID THIS HAPPEN but the number one reason, I believe, is lack of discipline which can be an overarching theme in other areas of my life (exercise, making the kids go to bed at their set time, achieving personal/professional goals, etc.).  So what goes through my mind when I know I have a boat load of groceries in the house but I still want to stop by Starbucks in the morning or I want to stop by McDonald’s to get the kids dinner because I’m too tired to cook…the thought that reigns is that I’m entitled to a little treat. I mean I work hard EVERYDAY at home and work so it’s okay right?  Not necessarily.  These slow, unplanned leaks of cash in our bank account are just like a dripping faucet in your bathroom.  It seems like a slow, small leak until you get your water bill and see that the slow, consistent, small leak has increased your water bill by $100 – $200.

So because I’m a planner, I dug out some tools I learned (but had not yet implemented in a disciplined way) and got to crackin’!  I’ll share them with you over the next few weeks.  It’s going to be tough but I believe now is the time for change.

What about you?  What are the slow leaks or small compromises in your life that are preventing you from having the best life that has been created for you in your finances, health, relationships, or career?

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